Birth Trauma Survivor and Maternal Health Advocate

“Talking to a therapist, I thought, was like taking your clothes off and then taking your skin off, and then having the other person say, "Would you mind opening up your rib cage so that we can start?” Julie Schumacher, Black Box

I arrived about ten minutes early for my first session with Dr. Jones, the postpartum psychiatrist. I sat on a couch in the waiting room of her office, along with two other patients. I sized them up, wondering what their problems were.  One woman looked visibly upset about something, she was on the verge of…

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"I've never found therapy to be a sign of weakness; I've found the opposite to be true. The willingness to have a mirror held up to you definitely requires strength." Brooke Shields

The first time I sought therapy was shortly after my grandmother’s death–I was eighteen years old. It felt embarrassing and pathetic talking to a stranger about my feelings, but it was also relieving being able to unload on an objective outsider. I was a little amused by the fact that my experience in therapy was…

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“And oh she had been broken. She hid it well, but Ross knew from personal experience that once you had put the pieces together, even though you might look intact, you were never quite the same as you'd been before the fall.” Jodi Picoult, Second Glance

Bobby and Miss J accompanied me to my first post partum doctors appointment–the last time I was there, I was thirty-six weeks pregnant. After thirty-six weeks, they tell you to be prepared because you can deliver at any time. Boy, was I ready! Towards the end of my pregnancy I indulged in any type of…

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“You've probably read in People that I'm a nice guy – but when the doctor first told me I had Parkinson's, I wanted to kill him.” Michael J. Fox

Often, doctors have to give people extremely bad news. “You’re in bad shape, kid. Here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna try to stop the bleeding. I gotta do an embolization to stop the bleeding. If that doesn’t work, you have to get a hysterectomy. You have to realize that if you get a hysterectomy,…

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"Some people think that doctors and nurses can put scrambled eggs back in the shell." Cass Canfield

I wasted a lot of time that I should have spent sleeping staring at my naked body in our bathroom mirror. I stared at my stomach, which was still bloated and in an odd football shape. I stared at my legs and feet that were swollen with fluid. I stared at my breasts. They had…

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“I remember leaving the hospital – thinking, 'Wait, are they going to let me just walk off with him? I don't know beans about babies! I don't have a license to do this.' We're just amateurs.” Anne Tyler

You have to have an absurd amount of schooling and experience to be considered for most jobs. You have to fill out an application, go for an interview (sometimes several), and then you wait to hear the outcome. When you want to have a baby, there are no requirements at all. There is no age…

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The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress and grows brave by reflection. -Thomas Paine

This past spring and summer were full of changes–similar to the spring and summer after Miss J was born. We have recently uprooted ourselves and made the big trek from the city to suburbia. This transition is mourned by some, welcomed by others and often necessary once you have children. I got so caught up…

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"The world we’re in right now, it’s like showing emotion has become a bad thing". James Gandolfini

The world we’re in right now, it’s like showing emotion has become a bad thing. Like there’s something wrong with you if you’re really in love or really angry and you show it. Like, if you feel those powerful emotions and you express them, instead of keeping them inside then you must be someone who…

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