Birth Trauma Survivor and Maternal Health Advocate

“If you are going through hell, keep going.” Winston Churchill

It would have been easier to understand and accept what happened to my body if the doctors had been able to diagnose me with something.  Besides the PTSD diagnosis I needed something concrete about the blood that I could research, obsess over and google- but there was no explanation. The miscarriage was easier to understand than…

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"Doctors have told me I have a high pain threshold, but I can only know what I feel. I think I'm good at minimizing the pain and being indifferent to it." Johnny Knoxville

Within thirteen months, I had  two hemorrhages. I was also living life as a happy mom shuffling Miss J back and forth to classes and play dates.  At the same time, my anxiety was at an all time high. I wasn’t depressed, I was afraid of dying. I was afraid that enjoying normal activities like…

“And oh she had been broken. She hid it well, but Ross knew from personal experience that once you had put the pieces together, even though you might look intact, you were never quite the same as you'd been before the fall.” Jodi Picoult, Second Glance

Bobby and Miss J accompanied me to my first post partum doctors appointment–the last time I was there, I was thirty-six weeks pregnant. After thirty-six weeks, they tell you to be prepared because you can deliver at any time. Boy, was I ready! Towards the end of my pregnancy I indulged in any type of…

“Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her. But once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game.” Voltaire

“This guy is going to come in here and tell you some really scary things,” Dr. B said to me. “Let me guess,” I replied. “I’m going to die.” “Yes, that is exactly what he is going to tell you. He is going to tell you that he will do everything he can for you,…