Birth Trauma Survivor and Maternal Health Advocate

We Have a Responsibility to Care for Each Other

Hi Everyone, It’s been a long time!  Today is March For Moms, a peaceful demonstration in D.C.  bringing to light the critical need to address the maternal health of families in our country. I won’t be attending, as my daughter had a violin recital this weekend;-) But I will be there with everyone in spirit….

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“True rebels hate their own rebellion. They know by experience that it is not a cool and glamorous lifestyle; it takes a courageous fool to say things that have not been said and to do things that have not been done.” Criss Jami, Venus in Arms

Within an hour of hitting the “publish” button I had over eight hundred page views on my website. No turning back. I logged onto my Twitter account to see if there was any activity there. There was a tweet to me from a South African woman. She explained over a series of tweets and private…

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“There was something in her eyes that made me trust her. Maybe it was because they held the same cynicism, the same world-weariness I saw in my own every morning when I looked at myself in the mirror.” Melika Dannese Lux, Corcitura

During our first meeting, Rachael told me that she was going to be my partner on this journey. She would reiterate that statement often during our sessions.  I used to think it was such an odd and corny thing to say. How can you be partners with someone you hardly know?  Plus, in order to…

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“If you are going through hell, keep going.” Winston Churchill

It would have been easier to understand and accept what happened to my body if the doctors had been able to diagnose me with something.  Besides the PTSD diagnosis I needed something concrete about the blood that I could research, obsess over and google- but there was no explanation. The miscarriage was easier to understand than…

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"Doctors have told me I have a high pain threshold, but I can only know what I feel. I think I'm good at minimizing the pain and being indifferent to it." Johnny Knoxville

Within thirteen months, I had  two hemorrhages. I was also living life as a happy mom shuffling Miss J back and forth to classes and play dates.  At the same time, my anxiety was at an all time high. I wasn’t depressed, I was afraid of dying. I was afraid that enjoying normal activities like…

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“The great motherhood friendships are the ones in which two women can admit [how difficult mothering is] quietly to each other, over cups of tea, at a table sticky with spilled apple juice and littered with markers without tops.” Anna Quindlen

Making mom friends is similar to making friends when you’re the new kid in school. There were some moms I bonded with immediately and have remained friends with over the past four years. There are some who, although we didn’t become best friends, I enjoy seeing around town or catching up with at the playground….

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“Talking to a therapist, I thought, was like taking your clothes off and then taking your skin off, and then having the other person say, "Would you mind opening up your rib cage so that we can start?” Julie Schumacher, Black Box

I arrived about ten minutes early for my first session with Dr. Jones, the postpartum psychiatrist. I sat on a couch in the waiting room of her office, along with two other patients. I sized them up, wondering what their problems were.  One woman looked visibly upset about something, she was on the verge of…

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“You've probably read in People that I'm a nice guy – but when the doctor first told me I had Parkinson's, I wanted to kill him.” Michael J. Fox

Often, doctors have to give people extremely bad news. “You’re in bad shape, kid. Here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna try to stop the bleeding. I gotta do an embolization to stop the bleeding. If that doesn’t work, you have to get a hysterectomy. You have to realize that if you get a hysterectomy,…

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"The world we’re in right now, it’s like showing emotion has become a bad thing". James Gandolfini

The world we’re in right now, it’s like showing emotion has become a bad thing. Like there’s something wrong with you if you’re really in love or really angry and you show it. Like, if you feel those powerful emotions and you express them, instead of keeping them inside then you must be someone who…

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Happy Birthday Miss J! And Happy Birthday to You Too.

Today is Miss J’s 3rd birthday. People often say that time flies when you have kids. For me, there have been many moments that dragged on and on with no end in sight. Sleepless nights. Cleaning and sterilizing bottles. Teething. Sleep training. There were other moments that seemed to happen overnight like when Miss J…

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